Recovery...

So.. it's been a month since I've gotten back from Perú.. and it's been about 2 months since my last blog. But The thing that is sad is that I find myself to wanting be here, like it hurts.. everything reminds me of something that has happened in Perú. I'm just going to throw this out there so everyone knows, because I'm tired of hiding it. While I was in Perú... I made several friends.. and they were very good to me. They did not try to hurt me, yell at me, get mad at me or anything.. they only showed the true love of Jesus Christ in people who I thought wouldn't even show it. But through my friends there, I met a guy. His name is Poll, yes.. I know it's a weird name.. but he was a good guy. But when I was there, we had a thing.. nothing bad.. I swear to you.. but yes I guess you could say I had a tiny "relationship" with him and he told me before I left that he would wait for me, that he would remember me, and that next year when I return... we would end up together..and that next year would be better. At the time he told me this, I honestly felt like.. "Yeah.. right.." and I thought that I would be fine because he's just a guy that I met there...we had fun..whatever. But now, back in the land of the lonely... I miss having him around.. and what hurts is that I now find out that he is with another girl...that he only talks to me on special occasions. It hurts because I, for the first time in my life, let someone have a piece of my heart. With that said... that is NOT the reason why I do not like living here.
In Perú things are simpler, things are old-fashioned, things are what I need them to be. I was able to actually live... to live where I didn't have the distractions from McDonalds, from driving my own car, from my macbook pro (even tho I love it), and yes.. even from the presidential election! I got to work my dream job, I got to make connections that will probably stay with me for the rest of my life, I got to learn more of the culture that I crave... I just want to go back, I want to live there.. but I know that I need to finish school before I do anything.. but it's so so sooo hard...and half the time I don't know if I can make it. I just need encouragement.. I try to seem upbeat, perky and in a good mood.. but I need to stay true to God... I need him more than anything and I feel like I'm drifting away.
But yes, anyways.. we're talking about recovery...my culture shock is bizarre:
*At times I think to myself, am I able to flush toilet paper here..?
*When I speak in English, sometimes I get Spanish words mixed in there... and I get funny looks from people cause I have slang words, proper English and Spanish in the same sentence. :S
*Seeing my cousin preggo was weird.. especially at her baby shower because I wanted to talk to her in Spanish.. but all her friends were there. (**side note: Suzy is probably the only one that can understand half of what I'm going through. She is half and half like me, but we grew up VERY differently, but I still like talking to her because she actually listens to what I have to say and puts some good thoughts in my head after I'm all done... though I have Christi ><, Suzy is my confidante when it comes to stuff about Perú**)
*When I read English, I feel like I should be correcting it, because that's what I did when I was at MTRSS (Museo Tumbas Reales del Señor de Sipán).
*I still carry around toilet paper around with me just in case there's a stall w/o toilet paper (btw that came in handy today when I found out the stall in my room was out of it! YAY!)
*I try to walk everywhere, though now I am Americanized.. and I have Dora soooo.. yeah..
*I crave to find another person to talk Spanish to just so I can feel like I'm still in touch with my heritage.
*It's starting to get cold, really cold.. and I just want to be in the warm weather that the Peruvians call winter.
*I feel like every time my school serves me rice.. it's not right.. there's no garlic, no pollo.. nothing.. it's just like white mush.
*...I also feel like i need some chicha morada.. like.. at every meal :( (chicha morada is a drink that is very ancient..not the drink itself.. just the recipe.. anywho.. it's a drink that's made from boiling the natual purple corn that is found in Peru so that the water is purple and brown sugar is added.. its so so sooo good!.. i miss it)
*I miss being taller than most of the people around me.. here I have guys that are 6' 11" and girls that are 6' 5"... i liked being the tallest down there..
*I miss the relationship I had with God. There I had a clear mind, I knew what I wanted, I knew why I was there, I knew that he loved me.. here I don't feel that.. I find myself searching, wandering, lost.
*I miss walking the streets at night. Though it is/was dangerous... I still was able to feel the chilly breeze, the hustle and bustle of people around me. Seeing people who haven't even heard the word of the Lord yet, seeing people lay on the sidewalk to sleep, having to protect my pockets, having to put my coin purse in my bra so no one could get it.
*Going to walmart.. I think that they will have mangos the size of my head.. when in reality.. they are the size of an avacado.. and not even a ripe one...
*I still find myself shaking my hand at something funny.. like how the Peruvians do... but here in the states.. NEGATIVE!.. you laugh or you just sit there..
*I still can't get over the fact that I AM DRIVING myself places instead of haggling a person to take me there for less than 50 cents.
*...and honestly.. it's just weird to see white people.. no offense to ANYONE.. but I miss seeing latinos.
*But what I think that I'm trying to recover from the most.. is being away from my family. There, my family showed me how to love, how to cook, important facts about the Christian denomination and showed me how other people live.




I miss almost everything.. well maybe not my cousin Verji.. but that's cause he picked on me too much...he should learn when to stop. This summer impacted my life greatly, like I said.. everything I look at reminds me of something that has happened this summer...and it doesn't help that for the whole semester I am to write about my future career, a missionary, in my English Comp Class..

As of right now, these are my feelings.. I just felt like I should write about it.. and let some people know how I feel.. I'm sure I'll write again either today.. or tomorrow.. but the 2nd one will be about another thing very dear to me.
XOXO
<3 glenda

June 17, 2008 –Last Day In Lima-

I got up around 9 today… so I kinda missed breakfast. I blame the headache!!! But my dad and I went into town again, but this time I took some tylenol and some airborne befroe we left!We firt went to the National Museum to look at somethings then went back to the music conservatory to renew dads library card. After that we bought some things at one of the stores then got a bite to eat. So we were in town until like 2pm. So we rocketed back to the Aunts house and got all of our stuff ready while Tia Margarita got us a cab. So we were on our way to the aiport when the traffic in Lima started to get crazier than usual. Our Tico taxi ended up driving on the sidewalk…sooooooooo that was a fun experience. But we got to the aiport, got on our plane and arrived safely. When we finally got out of the airport in Chiclayo, my grandpa and cousin Yuly were outside waiting on us. We took a taxi to La Victoria (where my family lives) and was greeted by all of my family when we arrived to the house. We then visited with all of them until about midnight…and I am supr tired, Im in my bed. So…
Until Next Time
XOXO
<3 Glenda

June 18, 2008 –Entry No. 2- …God is good!

Today was pretty chill… I failed to get up early (and yes I was trying to) but I blame that I have no clock in my room and my alarm on my ipod failed to wake me up. So it was around 10 when I got up UP and took a shower and got ready. But when I got to the family room my Tia Venus was already cooking lunch so I decided to do my Bible study so I did that until Lunch! :D YUM! We had creamed potatoes, fried chicken and Peruvian rice… with CHICHA MORADA!!!! (chicha morada- a drink made from purple corn) I <3 Peruvian Food!!! :D haha But after lunch I got on the inernet for a bit to update some blogs and what not but then my Tio Paco came over to talk to my dad, then all three of us went to the center of Chiclayo because my dad and I needed to change some money, get my picture for my DNI (Peruvian ID card)/ passport, and some toiletries. So I got to show my white face in public! YAY! Haha My DNI picture is HORRIBLE, my family and dad told me that Peruvians arent supposed to smile.. so i´m straight mean-muggin it! Haha But yeah.. I got that done.. and then my dad and I went to the supermarket to get the things that we needed but on the way there a guy tried to pick pocket me…luckily i´m not as stupid as I look because I didn’t have my money in the places where he tried to go. But we got all of the stuff that we needed at the supermarket for like 30 bucks.. which is SUPER GOOD!
When we got home, the whole family was all here…again and we sat, chatted and watched the soccer game that was on tv together…that was until my dad brought out all of the guitars he found around the house. So we played for a bit, after everyone left of course, but after we played for a bit my cousin Verjilio started looking at my dads book.
Ok this book that I speak of is of the human body…its basically like a biology book.. that my dad bought at Lowes (yes, you read right… Lowes.) But the whole book is in English, and Verji is vey smart, so he could comprehend the text but couldn’t speak it, so I found this to be my sign from God that I was supposed to help him. We only worked on one sentence, but I could tell that he was super happy. When we ended the “lesson” he smiled at me and told me that he was greatful that I helped him and that Dad brought this book. That my friends is a wonderful sign from God. He is Good and he has a wonderful plan for me…and YOU! :D
Until Next Time
XOXO
<3 Glenda

June 18, 2008 –Entry No. 1- …I Gots an idea kids!!

I think that what im going to do for each blog from now on is to have a memory verse picked out at the beg. Of the day and Ill try to apply it to that day especially and i´ll tell you guys how it goes! So today while I was doing my own little Bible Study I ran across a passage in romans that I fell in love with, but one stuck out to me.
“Share with God´s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
Romans 12:13
In my 2nd entry I´ll let youknow how I ended the day trying to practice this lesson while Im down here!
Until Next Time
XOXO
<3 Glenda

June 16, 2008 –Headache from Hell-

Today I went to the cente of Lima. (The capitol of Peru) my dad got me up around 8:15 and told me that we were leaving around 9:30 so I needed to get ready because breakfast as at 8:30/45 approx. I got up around 8:30.. hahaha and went to breakfast where I had tea, Bread, and Peruvian Jelly... which was yyummy I might add. But I took a shower after that... a cold one.. my aunts house doesnt have an automated water heater sooo... its safe to say that after that shower I was awake. But I got read, put some clothes and sandals on and met my uncle and dad outside where they were waiting for my aunt and me. My uncle Lucio took one look at me and laughed. I was wearing a tshirt, jeans and sandals… and he thought that I was stupid or something because He called me crazy and my dad took me by my arm and took me to out room and told me that I needed to put a jacket on... which to I replied “ I dont have one here.” Lets just say that I got the look of ander/disappointment and humor all in one. I put one of my swetshirts on and told him that I’d be ok.. and he told me that I need top ut shoes and socks on but it was probably 70 degrees outside and a Little cloudy… so I thought that I was good…so after about 5 min. Of arguing in Spanglish he let me wear my sandals. (Even though my Uncle told my dad that it as a bad idea.) But we took a bus to the center of Lima which was an experience all its own…to ge ton these things youneed to track them down and be able to stand up for 20-30 minutes depending on traffic. But I must say that I loved every minute of it becauseI felt like I was actually living. But we got to the park/monumento of San Martin, the Guy from Argentina that led Peru to be a free country. But we passed the park to go to the across the street to change some of our Money into soles (ther Peruvian name for their currency) then went to the travel agency that had our tickets. So we got our tickets for Chiclayo…finally! Our flight is at 5:10 romorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But after that we started alkig the streets of Lima. Can I Just say that my dad was right wehen He told me that I should have worn shoes...the sidealks were filthy...people had peed (among other things) where I was walking...so my feet were feeling NASTY! Haha But we went to the music conservatory where my dad attended over 30 years ago! But we went there to visit with my dads friends that went to school with him but are now teachers there. And can I say that that right there was hilarious! This one Guy, whos a guiarist Just like my dad, looked at my dad like he was an alien. He looked at him and said hi, and asked how he could help my dad.. ad my dad asked him if he didnt remember him.. the guy looked at my dads face for a bit…and his eyes widened andexclaimed “ NER!” hahah :D He said that dad is as big as a cow and my dad told him not to say that..he’s a Bull.. hahaha oh Peruvian Humor! But we visited him for a bit then went to an office to see what I had to do to get my Peruvian Passport (We found out that I can do it in Chiclayo) But we went back to my aunts house and ate..then my dad and i went back to the music conservatory to listen to their guitar ensemble. They were REALLY GOOD! Haha but my dad got more music soooooo he was really happy since he can never have enough music. But we were about to leave when I spotted their orchestra so we listened to them for a bit then went back to the house.. but because I was in town all day where all of the pollution is.. and now.. I have a yuuuuge headach. Like im talking like I can feel my brain hitting the sides of my skull! But I took 3 tylonols so Im going to bed….
Until Next Time…
XOXO
<3 Glenda

June 15, 2008 -FATHERS DAY-

I slept so well today that its not even funny! I honestly tghink that any bed is better than my bed at home. lol Well I got up today around 9 and had a breakfast with the Tios and my dad. We of course had bread and hot chocolate/coffee and then they brought out my enemy...freshly squeezed guava juice. I saythat its my enemy because i love guavas.. but the texture makes me gag :( but i can say that I successfully downed that sucker without pulling an Exorcist. But I then got reay for church I was going to wear a skirt but my Aunt thought that I would die from a cold in 70 degree weather! hahaha so I ended up wearing my khaki pants and blue polo...so it looked like I was going to work. But we got a taxi and went to church. The church was really nice, the nicest kind of wesleyan church that ive seen down here :) But when we got to a pew and sat it was already time to start snging.. and yall I thought that it was so cool! This curch is a wesleyan church in Peru, but I felt like I was in a Black Baptist Church for the worship! But anywho the church service was all about Fathers and family, so towards the end they gave all of the fathers a gift and the babies, kds and teens put on a show for them...which was hilarious. But after the service ended we greeted all of the other chrch members...and when I said '' all '' I mean ALL OF THEM! But tia introduced me to all of them as my father's daughter and they gasped, looked up at me (yeah... my conclusion for the day is that I'm very white and very tall.. I'm like a friggin seven foot albino to them! haha), talked to me for a bit tring to get to know me a story about my dad back in the day, then asked me why he was so fat, then kissed me goodbye and walked over to my dad. Yeah.. my dad had his own little fan club that was circled around him by the end of the hour. But we came back hre and had lunh hich was a weird spagheti soup with chicken in it and chicken and rice... guess which one I ate? haha no but the mediction for my ADHD makes me feel full.. really full all of the time so it was interesting to explain to the family membrs that i just met!
But that was pretty much it, after that I just chilled, I finally got on the internet and posted some updates telling everyone how I was :D My day was completed when I fount that out.. because after posting things on facebook and myspace and whatnot... it was around 10. And now Im going to bed!
Until next time...
XOXO
<3 Glenda

June 14th, 2008 >the trip to Peru<

Today´s trip went fine. Nothing bad happened and nothing super exciting happened...
We finally got here (Lima that is) at approx. 11:10 pm and got to my Tias Magarita and Tio Lucio´s house around 1am. (BTW I had no idea that suzy was on the dot when she said that tia looks exactly like grandma did.. only with a perm.. hahaha) Both of the flights were fine.. no one threw up, nothing went wrong.. it was just another flight to me :) haha Ok so this was our agenda to get here... Friday 11am- drive to Indy to stay with Ted and Suzy. Saturday 5-airport... flight at 8:30 to Atlanta... 7 hour layover there.. then at 5:15 we started a 6 hour flight to Lima...
Well.... we were a little late leaving Atlanta.. like a half an hour late.. haha ;) but all went well! On the flight to Peru there were 2 HUGE groups that were flying to Peru for some sort of church thing which meant that the Peruvians on the flight were a littttllllleeee annoyed at the fact that flo rida was being blared from ipods! I slept most of the way on both of the flights and the layover.. honestly I was out for like 4 hours of the 6 hour flight and about an hour of the hour and a half flight to Atlanta and about 6 hours of the 7 hour layover :) it´s a God given talent.. what can I say? lol
But that´s mostly the Reader Digest version of what I wrote in my journal last night... but don´t worry! There´s much more to come!!!!!!
XOXO
Glenda

2 cousin's views

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. how then can anyone understand his own way?"

(Proverbs 20:24)

Spending money was always a habit of mind. Whether it was a movie, a video game, or something equally disposable, I would leap at the chance to purchase once I earned my allowance. And it would usually bring happiness-for a time. When I was through with one item, I'd move on to the next must-have. It was repetitive and increasingly meaningless. 

However, things slowly started to change during my fifteenth ear. It began when I volunteered with my father to ring the bell for teh Salvation Army during the Christmas season. While dozens of people walked past the near-empty kettle and into a busy mall, I realized, these people are doing exactly what I'm doing-buying more stuff.

Things only intensified as I noticed more people near shopping centers who apparently needed help. On one particular intersection stood a weary-looking man, accompanied only by his dog. This man held a sign asking for food and shelter, but no one seemed to care. All the while people were driving past, heading toward the mall, buying things they didn't need but wanted. Beyond that, I realized that I was one of those people. But still clung as hard as I could to spending, afraid to let go.

The final realization came the day of my sixteenth birthday. I had asked my family to help me celebrate at an expensive restaurant. I ate too much in a short amount of time, then began to feel sick afterwards. Not only had  the food lost it's taste, the idea of spending that much money on the meal soured my stomach. Was celebrating really worth that extravagance?

We had also agreed to stop at a Christian Supply center. When I entered there, everything felt different. This store wasn't the same as the other stores; the pace was slower and the mood more keeping with mine. I was grateful to find  The Journey by Billy Graham, my first purchase  that held greater meaning. This immediately changed my thinking. The author widened my perspective on the meaning of each stage of my life and challenged me to focus on eternal values while still a teenager.

I may not understand God's ways, but my steps toward Jesus bring me closer to him every day. My joy comes in investing in the lives of others and in knowing I serve in Jesus' name.

Tim Engle

*OK NOW ME!!! haha*

Believe it or not, that was written by my younger cousin Tim, who is already a writer and known in the Society of Friends church. I've read it before, actually many times before...but never really thought how it might affect others. Tim wrote his piece exquisitely, and shared his thoughts on this subject and how he is growing more and more every day. 

But for me, when reading this, I thought of how it affects both sides of my family. You see Tim is the son of my Mom's sister Patsy. (so basically what I'm saying is, he's on the White side of my family.) My grandparents on that side of the family have worked hard for everything that they have. They've lived through the depression, lived in small houses with 5 children, been through deaths, and much more. What I'm about to say is not meant to offend nor hurt any of my maternal relatives. But his article was written about those who spend too much money and are self-centered, what about those who have nothing.  Yes, I know that he was doing a good deed with my Uncle (who is one of the nicest men you will ever meet in your life) but that was because they HAD THE CHANCE. My father's family has no chance to go ring a bell, buy a Billy Graham book or to even have a Christian bookstore. 

The reality is, is that I have had the chance to be in three and a half different worlds. I have a Caucasian family (build up from mostly Germans) that loves me, and lets me see how they work as a family, how the American Wesleyan Church is, and even letting me eat yummy yummy YUMMY food that's been handed down from older relatives. I also have a Latino family, that lets me see what a persecuted church. My grandparents (my abuelita passed away last year) have been shot at, poisoned, talked about, and hurt by many things and people. They have also let me see that I am spoiled. My family down there has nothing (true poverty), the reason that they have what they have is because my aunts work, my parents and uncle and aunt in the States send money each month. It really is an eye opener when you see people that look like you rummaging through garbage. But I love it down there, i feel like I live in a simpler time, and it helps me spiritually too. (Okay, I'm getting off the subject) But they let me see my culture in that way, I'm proudly a double citizen, proudly dark, proudly able to speak spanish, proudly able to eat lomo saltado and con colón. (yum.) Third world I am able to say that I am a part of, the African-American culture. I have gone to school with a mixture of people since I've moved to Indiana as a child. Through this I've been able to understand the culture, I'm able to understand the way of living, experience the dance movements, but also see poverty just down the street from me. Okay, now the half is probably been on your mind for a while, well my best friend who I call my sister was adopted from Korea, where her parents were missionaries at. But I get to have a sister that loves me, see another culture, eat the Korean food (i think another yum is in order, so yum.) and see her culture. With this in my life, I don't see colors or pigmentation's in people's skin. I see God's people that are here to live life to the fullest of God's glory.

Tim made a wonderful statement saying that, "My joy comes in investing in the lives of others and in knowing I serve in Jesus' name.". He will do great things, I already know it, I mean when you're published...I think that it's a good sign that you're on a good start! But my reaction is not only investing in lives, but investing time, money, love, emotions, and friendships. I don't know if Tim will ever get to see my family, or another country, but I pray that he does because that will also help him grow. I hope that he understands that I am not just a cousin on his mom's side, a half-breed, but a woman of God that will change people's lives. Maybe not now, this country, or maybe not even more than one person, but God has put us all on this planet to do his bidding.I love my family, biological and that of the Church. We all have so many different gifts that God has blessed us with and I can't wait until I see how much we'll grow into Men and Women that are the leaders.

Finding Truth

Have you ever felt yourself questioning not only everything in your life, but in your friend's as well? I've found myself, not second guessing, but looking at things in my life from a very different perspective. God has blessed me with so many things in my life (a diversified home, diversified life, wonderful friends, an amazing family, an education, and the knowledge of him the Lord our God.) But since coming to IWU, I've found more and more things that I can look at.

*Gossiping

*Rude Comments

*Eating Habits

*Study Habits

*Relationships

Gossiping:I have a HUGE problem with gossiping. That's just what I did in high school, middle school etc. I talked about other people to get over the fact that I am jealous of what they had, then I found out the people were gossiping about me, and that just made me mad. I am/was so hypocritical when it came down to that. I could dish it out, but couldn't take it. 

Rude/Inappropriate Comments: Yes, they are funny, and yes I do make them. It's amazing how one phrase can make people so mad. I mean "That's what she said..."? Even though it is funny, I found myself saying it, and I saw my friend's eyes look at me like she just lost a little respect from me.

Eating Habits: I am not anorexic nor bulimic. I am pleasantly plump, and I'm proud of it. I think that one thing that is important especially in college is to find your own ground. We're not on our own necessarily, but we're close to it. Momma and Poppa can't make us food every night, they can't buy our groceries, they are not here to baby us. So if we gain lbs. then it's our fault for being lazy, I haven't gained weight, I've lost it, but I'm trying harder and harder to get to the gym in my dorm. 

Study Habits: ^^ see eating habits. We are responsible for our own grades. We PAID this much money to be challenged...and yes there are some profs that are HORRIBLE..but there are some that make everything interesting and/or challenging. DO YOUR WORK!

Relationships: As a freshmen, NSO weekend was AWESOME.. but I find it hilarious how so many people can try to find their "one true love" during their first year on campus. I will admit that I get lonely at times, where I see other people holding hands, kissing and hugging and I wish that I could have that, but I know that God has a reason for everything and that he will send me the man that is the perfect fit in my puzzle called life. One thing that I find hilarious are people who search for their future spouse, LET GOD DO THE WORK! One thing that I also think is interesting is how most of the people that I hang out with, don't have a physical desire to be with each other, which I love. 

See if I would have started this blog in high school, you wouldn't find that many things on here. God gave me a chance to understand more about not only life, but about the people around me.

THEY FOUND ME!

Last night I was online, and I get a myspace message from one of my friends from back in the day. When I mean back in the day I mean when we were like in 1-2nd grade or so.
So she sends me this message asking me if I used to live in Lewiston, and I wrote back saying yes I did, and we made contact.. It was amazing.. Her profile wasn't set to private so I gandered at her pictures, and I found out that she has a gastly picture of me and another friend from back in the day with her...
How random is that..
I miss those days
*Where you didn't have to take REAL credit for anything
*That Juice boxes were always in the fridge
*That Power Rangers came on at 1pm and you never missed a show
*Where your friends didn't do things with an ex of yours
*Where Sleepovers were times when you brought Barbies together and played until a parent told you to settle down.
*Where you could eat anything and not worry about how fat you're going to get
*When you understood the meaning of life: FRIENDS
*When Boys were acting their age
*And when Recess was the highlight of your day

I miss it.. but looking back, if I would have stayed there, I can guarantee that I wouldn't be half the person I am today. I loved my friends back then, but my friends here have showed me that I'm loved, and that I can count on them for anything at all.