"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. how then can anyone understand his own way?"
(Proverbs 20:24)
Spending money was always a habit of mind. Whether it was a movie, a video game, or something equally disposable, I would leap at the chance to purchase once I earned my allowance. And it would usually bring happiness-for a time. When I was through with one item, I'd move on to the next must-have. It was repetitive and increasingly meaningless.
However, things slowly started to change during my fifteenth ear. It began when I volunteered with my father to ring the bell for teh Salvation Army during the Christmas season. While dozens of people walked past the near-empty kettle and into a busy mall, I realized, these people are doing exactly what I'm doing-buying more stuff.
Things only intensified as I noticed more people near shopping centers who apparently needed help. On one particular intersection stood a weary-looking man, accompanied only by his dog. This man held a sign asking for food and shelter, but no one seemed to care. All the while people were driving past, heading toward the mall, buying things they didn't need but wanted. Beyond that, I realized that I was one of those people. But still clung as hard as I could to spending, afraid to let go.
The final realization came the day of my sixteenth birthday. I had asked my family to help me celebrate at an expensive restaurant. I ate too much in a short amount of time, then began to feel sick afterwards. Not only had the food lost it's taste, the idea of spending that much money on the meal soured my stomach. Was celebrating really worth that extravagance?
We had also agreed to stop at a Christian Supply center. When I entered there, everything felt different. This store wasn't the same as the other stores; the pace was slower and the mood more keeping with mine. I was grateful to find The Journey by Billy Graham, my first purchase that held greater meaning. This immediately changed my thinking. The author widened my perspective on the meaning of each stage of my life and challenged me to focus on eternal values while still a teenager.
I may not understand God's ways, but my steps toward Jesus bring me closer to him every day. My joy comes in investing in the lives of others and in knowing I serve in Jesus' name.
Tim Engle
*OK NOW ME!!! haha*
Believe it or not, that was written by my younger cousin Tim, who is already a writer and known in the Society of Friends church. I've read it before, actually many times before...but never really thought how it might affect others. Tim wrote his piece exquisitely, and shared his thoughts on this subject and how he is growing more and more every day.
But for me, when reading this, I thought of how it affects both sides of my family. You see Tim is the son of my Mom's sister Patsy. (so basically what I'm saying is, he's on the White side of my family.) My grandparents on that side of the family have worked hard for everything that they have. They've lived through the depression, lived in small houses with 5 children, been through deaths, and much more. What I'm about to say is not meant to offend nor hurt any of my maternal relatives. But his article was written about those who spend too much money and are self-centered, what about those who have nothing. Yes, I know that he was doing a good deed with my Uncle (who is one of the nicest men you will ever meet in your life) but that was because they HAD THE CHANCE. My father's family has no chance to go ring a bell, buy a Billy Graham book or to even have a Christian bookstore.
The reality is, is that I have had the chance to be in three and a half different worlds. I have a Caucasian family (build up from mostly Germans) that loves me, and lets me see how they work as a family, how the American Wesleyan Church is, and even letting me eat yummy yummy YUMMY food that's been handed down from older relatives. I also have a Latino family, that lets me see what a persecuted church. My grandparents (my abuelita passed away last year) have been shot at, poisoned, talked about, and hurt by many things and people. They have also let me see that I am spoiled. My family down there has nothing (true poverty), the reason that they have what they have is because my aunts work, my parents and uncle and aunt in the States send money each month. It really is an eye opener when you see people that look like you rummaging through garbage. But I love it down there, i feel like I live in a simpler time, and it helps me spiritually too. (Okay, I'm getting off the subject) But they let me see my culture in that way, I'm proudly a double citizen, proudly dark, proudly able to speak spanish, proudly able to eat lomo saltado and con colón. (yum.) Third world I am able to say that I am a part of, the African-American culture. I have gone to school with a mixture of people since I've moved to Indiana as a child. Through this I've been able to understand the culture, I'm able to understand the way of living, experience the dance movements, but also see poverty just down the street from me. Okay, now the half is probably been on your mind for a while, well my best friend who I call my sister was adopted from Korea, where her parents were missionaries at. But I get to have a sister that loves me, see another culture, eat the Korean food (i think another yum is in order, so yum.) and see her culture. With this in my life, I don't see colors or pigmentation's in people's skin. I see God's people that are here to live life to the fullest of God's glory.
Tim made a wonderful statement saying that, "My joy comes in investing in the lives of others and in knowing I serve in Jesus' name.". He will do great things, I already know it, I mean when you're published...I think that it's a good sign that you're on a good start! But my reaction is not only investing in lives, but investing time, money, love, emotions, and friendships. I don't know if Tim will ever get to see my family, or another country, but I pray that he does because that will also help him grow. I hope that he understands that I am not just a cousin on his mom's side, a half-breed, but a woman of God that will change people's lives. Maybe not now, this country, or maybe not even more than one person, but God has put us all on this planet to do his bidding.I love my family, biological and that of the Church. We all have so many different gifts that God has blessed us with and I can't wait until I see how much we'll grow into Men and Women that are the leaders.
