2 cousin's views

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. how then can anyone understand his own way?"

(Proverbs 20:24)

Spending money was always a habit of mind. Whether it was a movie, a video game, or something equally disposable, I would leap at the chance to purchase once I earned my allowance. And it would usually bring happiness-for a time. When I was through with one item, I'd move on to the next must-have. It was repetitive and increasingly meaningless. 

However, things slowly started to change during my fifteenth ear. It began when I volunteered with my father to ring the bell for teh Salvation Army during the Christmas season. While dozens of people walked past the near-empty kettle and into a busy mall, I realized, these people are doing exactly what I'm doing-buying more stuff.

Things only intensified as I noticed more people near shopping centers who apparently needed help. On one particular intersection stood a weary-looking man, accompanied only by his dog. This man held a sign asking for food and shelter, but no one seemed to care. All the while people were driving past, heading toward the mall, buying things they didn't need but wanted. Beyond that, I realized that I was one of those people. But still clung as hard as I could to spending, afraid to let go.

The final realization came the day of my sixteenth birthday. I had asked my family to help me celebrate at an expensive restaurant. I ate too much in a short amount of time, then began to feel sick afterwards. Not only had  the food lost it's taste, the idea of spending that much money on the meal soured my stomach. Was celebrating really worth that extravagance?

We had also agreed to stop at a Christian Supply center. When I entered there, everything felt different. This store wasn't the same as the other stores; the pace was slower and the mood more keeping with mine. I was grateful to find  The Journey by Billy Graham, my first purchase  that held greater meaning. This immediately changed my thinking. The author widened my perspective on the meaning of each stage of my life and challenged me to focus on eternal values while still a teenager.

I may not understand God's ways, but my steps toward Jesus bring me closer to him every day. My joy comes in investing in the lives of others and in knowing I serve in Jesus' name.

Tim Engle

*OK NOW ME!!! haha*

Believe it or not, that was written by my younger cousin Tim, who is already a writer and known in the Society of Friends church. I've read it before, actually many times before...but never really thought how it might affect others. Tim wrote his piece exquisitely, and shared his thoughts on this subject and how he is growing more and more every day. 

But for me, when reading this, I thought of how it affects both sides of my family. You see Tim is the son of my Mom's sister Patsy. (so basically what I'm saying is, he's on the White side of my family.) My grandparents on that side of the family have worked hard for everything that they have. They've lived through the depression, lived in small houses with 5 children, been through deaths, and much more. What I'm about to say is not meant to offend nor hurt any of my maternal relatives. But his article was written about those who spend too much money and are self-centered, what about those who have nothing.  Yes, I know that he was doing a good deed with my Uncle (who is one of the nicest men you will ever meet in your life) but that was because they HAD THE CHANCE. My father's family has no chance to go ring a bell, buy a Billy Graham book or to even have a Christian bookstore. 

The reality is, is that I have had the chance to be in three and a half different worlds. I have a Caucasian family (build up from mostly Germans) that loves me, and lets me see how they work as a family, how the American Wesleyan Church is, and even letting me eat yummy yummy YUMMY food that's been handed down from older relatives. I also have a Latino family, that lets me see what a persecuted church. My grandparents (my abuelita passed away last year) have been shot at, poisoned, talked about, and hurt by many things and people. They have also let me see that I am spoiled. My family down there has nothing (true poverty), the reason that they have what they have is because my aunts work, my parents and uncle and aunt in the States send money each month. It really is an eye opener when you see people that look like you rummaging through garbage. But I love it down there, i feel like I live in a simpler time, and it helps me spiritually too. (Okay, I'm getting off the subject) But they let me see my culture in that way, I'm proudly a double citizen, proudly dark, proudly able to speak spanish, proudly able to eat lomo saltado and con colón. (yum.) Third world I am able to say that I am a part of, the African-American culture. I have gone to school with a mixture of people since I've moved to Indiana as a child. Through this I've been able to understand the culture, I'm able to understand the way of living, experience the dance movements, but also see poverty just down the street from me. Okay, now the half is probably been on your mind for a while, well my best friend who I call my sister was adopted from Korea, where her parents were missionaries at. But I get to have a sister that loves me, see another culture, eat the Korean food (i think another yum is in order, so yum.) and see her culture. With this in my life, I don't see colors or pigmentation's in people's skin. I see God's people that are here to live life to the fullest of God's glory.

Tim made a wonderful statement saying that, "My joy comes in investing in the lives of others and in knowing I serve in Jesus' name.". He will do great things, I already know it, I mean when you're published...I think that it's a good sign that you're on a good start! But my reaction is not only investing in lives, but investing time, money, love, emotions, and friendships. I don't know if Tim will ever get to see my family, or another country, but I pray that he does because that will also help him grow. I hope that he understands that I am not just a cousin on his mom's side, a half-breed, but a woman of God that will change people's lives. Maybe not now, this country, or maybe not even more than one person, but God has put us all on this planet to do his bidding.I love my family, biological and that of the Church. We all have so many different gifts that God has blessed us with and I can't wait until I see how much we'll grow into Men and Women that are the leaders.

Finding Truth

Have you ever felt yourself questioning not only everything in your life, but in your friend's as well? I've found myself, not second guessing, but looking at things in my life from a very different perspective. God has blessed me with so many things in my life (a diversified home, diversified life, wonderful friends, an amazing family, an education, and the knowledge of him the Lord our God.) But since coming to IWU, I've found more and more things that I can look at.

*Gossiping

*Rude Comments

*Eating Habits

*Study Habits

*Relationships

Gossiping:I have a HUGE problem with gossiping. That's just what I did in high school, middle school etc. I talked about other people to get over the fact that I am jealous of what they had, then I found out the people were gossiping about me, and that just made me mad. I am/was so hypocritical when it came down to that. I could dish it out, but couldn't take it. 

Rude/Inappropriate Comments: Yes, they are funny, and yes I do make them. It's amazing how one phrase can make people so mad. I mean "That's what she said..."? Even though it is funny, I found myself saying it, and I saw my friend's eyes look at me like she just lost a little respect from me.

Eating Habits: I am not anorexic nor bulimic. I am pleasantly plump, and I'm proud of it. I think that one thing that is important especially in college is to find your own ground. We're not on our own necessarily, but we're close to it. Momma and Poppa can't make us food every night, they can't buy our groceries, they are not here to baby us. So if we gain lbs. then it's our fault for being lazy, I haven't gained weight, I've lost it, but I'm trying harder and harder to get to the gym in my dorm. 

Study Habits: ^^ see eating habits. We are responsible for our own grades. We PAID this much money to be challenged...and yes there are some profs that are HORRIBLE..but there are some that make everything interesting and/or challenging. DO YOUR WORK!

Relationships: As a freshmen, NSO weekend was AWESOME.. but I find it hilarious how so many people can try to find their "one true love" during their first year on campus. I will admit that I get lonely at times, where I see other people holding hands, kissing and hugging and I wish that I could have that, but I know that God has a reason for everything and that he will send me the man that is the perfect fit in my puzzle called life. One thing that I find hilarious are people who search for their future spouse, LET GOD DO THE WORK! One thing that I also think is interesting is how most of the people that I hang out with, don't have a physical desire to be with each other, which I love. 

See if I would have started this blog in high school, you wouldn't find that many things on here. God gave me a chance to understand more about not only life, but about the people around me.

THEY FOUND ME!

Last night I was online, and I get a myspace message from one of my friends from back in the day. When I mean back in the day I mean when we were like in 1-2nd grade or so.
So she sends me this message asking me if I used to live in Lewiston, and I wrote back saying yes I did, and we made contact.. It was amazing.. Her profile wasn't set to private so I gandered at her pictures, and I found out that she has a gastly picture of me and another friend from back in the day with her...
How random is that..
I miss those days
*Where you didn't have to take REAL credit for anything
*That Juice boxes were always in the fridge
*That Power Rangers came on at 1pm and you never missed a show
*Where your friends didn't do things with an ex of yours
*Where Sleepovers were times when you brought Barbies together and played until a parent told you to settle down.
*Where you could eat anything and not worry about how fat you're going to get
*When you understood the meaning of life: FRIENDS
*When Boys were acting their age
*And when Recess was the highlight of your day

I miss it.. but looking back, if I would have stayed there, I can guarantee that I wouldn't be half the person I am today. I loved my friends back then, but my friends here have showed me that I'm loved, and that I can count on them for anything at all.

Testimony

So this is a get to know me Blog... *YAY*

I'm a freshmen at Indiana Wesleyan Univeristy (I'm starting my second semster!!!) and I absolutely love it here. My friends are amazing, my suitemates, though very loud at times, are so sweet, my roomie Anna is a gem, I love her to death. Just everything here is right for me...I just need to work on the classes ;) But my major is Spanish and Intercultural Studies with a Minor in Media Communications, I plan on being a missionary to a 3rd world country to spread God's word to those who need to hear it. 

You're probably wondering about the whole Peruvian thing.. like is it a kind of dessert?...haha..no. I'm Peruvian, and proud of it (My dad is from the country of Peru, while my mother is from Washington) but it's pretty much awesome, be jealous because I get LEMOS SALTADO! (peruvian dish>>my FAV) But while I do have family in the states, most of my Dad's family is in Peru still. *NOTE ANOTHER REASON TO BE JEALOUS I've had a passport since I was 4! But I honestly love being Peruvian..so don't call Mexican.. *geesh haha

My mom is a workaholic. Since I was a kid, I remember her just working, so I have a bunch of memories with my dad and my grandma in Washington. Both of my parents work hard don't get me wrong. My mom has worked at colleges almost her whole life, so she's pretty much into that whole scene, but I don't mind...I got free tuition from it..lol  My dad has been a victim of racism. When I was a kid, he went to college, and then worked at the Mariott hotel as a dish-cleaner person, and one of his profs told him that he wasn't going to be anything more than that. Well, now my dad is a guitar instructor, so that prof was wrong. 

When I was 7, I moved to Marion, Indiana.........at the time it seemed like it sucked, but I can see now, that this is what God wanted because I love it here! But In Washington, we lived across from the mayor, mostly an all white community, nice big homes, nice neighborhood. Then the U-Haul took me to South Marion, mostly made up of people living in poverty or close to it, little homes, and I live across the ally from a drug dealer. Talk about your change in pace. In Washington, I was basically the minority out there, but when I went to elementary school, there were all sorts of kids, in every shape, color, and home. An to this day, those kids that I went to school with in 3&4th grade are some of my best friends. 

But then Middle School started, where I was intertwined with even more kids, and even MORE friends! I started liking rap, and hip-hop because that's what I was surrounded with, so I wasn't complaining. Now in M.S. I was a pretty good kid, I didn't curse or anything else.. I was kind of just there. That's also when I started playing volleyball >> the love of my life. High School came around and that was worse, 3 middle schools going into 1 high school...that wasn't awkward at all. But in high school, I started out a really good Christian, on fire for God, doing well in my studies, I was always nice, and I don't know.. it was just a really good kid. The years past, and I just got worse, I didn't understand anything, so I just chilled with my friends, and by the end of my senior year I did things that would make my Grandma ashamed of me. I cursed like a sailor, I did certain things that I'm not proud of and I wasn't very nice to people. But at that point I was just concerned about being popular, and being with my "friends". Let me tell ya, high school was a test, a test at least for me. It told me that I need to be straight with God before I do anything else, I hated that feeling of feeling empty, of feeling alone. 

We're up to last semester now :) don't worry it's almost over. I live with my Roomie, and 6 other girls (*yeah tell me about it, 8 girls 1 bathroom... NOT PRETTY!!!!!) but see these girls are all white, besides me and my roomie, these girls have gone to school with like 8-12 minorities in their high schools. THAT WAS SO FRIGGIN WEIRD, let me tell ya... I have like 7 black people in my back yard every other day...haha But with the music that I listen to, the way I talked, my jokes all of these were torn apart by these girls, I don't think that they meant to, but they did. I mean the comment of "Glenda, stop talking black, you're not black..*snicker snicker*" To which I replied, how do I talk black, I didn't know that you can talk a color...? I went to a school where about 60% was African American to a college where there's about 6%. It's just weird, and it's hard to understand girls I know, but when you're getting to know someone you don't say that, its just rude. But my first semester of college was hard yes, but it's so much fun, I love all of my friends that I met, and all the ones that I had before.. simply amazing...

To think that I'm going to school with people that are going to be the leaders of tomorrow... it honestly baffles me. God works in so many mysteriously AWESOME ways!

ok... well that's it for now.. :)

<3glenda